Learning the rules and breaking the limits
At 45, I didn't expect to be motivated enough to learn a new sport. I had no idea what padel even was, but it looked fun to smash a ball off a glass wall. I never touched any racquet sports previously, but I wanted to know what it felt like to take all the heat out of your day with a smash and grab match to expel all the days grumbles.
Similar to me, you may wonder what padel is?
My current understanding of padel (I say this because I just about know what it is myself) would describe it as a hybrid mash up of tennis and squash. It is played on a glass walled court and for me the fun is found it being able to hit it all over the shop with lots of hope and vigour.
If you want more reliable help with the rules, then here is a link to square the facts (Padel Rules: How to Play Padel Tennis | PadelJoy).
I'll be using the same link for a long time yet!
Why did I pick up a padel?
I was definitely inspired by lazy Sunday doom scrolling on Youtube. I think I'd watch tennis the day before and wished I'd had a go when I was younger. I started looking at video's on Youtube and padel popped up as a suggestion of things I might like to watch. It was an unintentional find but what appealed aside from the smashing balls against unbreakable glass, was also the fact that the game is played in doubles. At this time of my life, this fits with my agenda of trying create opportunities to make new friendships and networks. My usual tendency is to avoid these sorts of predicaments as they seem to result in anxiety mismanagement. However, my quest in my forties is to face anxiety challenges head on, expose my mind to the situations that create me the most headaches. So, this was a huge tick for me in the context of re-inventing myself in my forties.
My first session
To make sure my anxiety had the best conditions to thrive and sabotage my dreams, I chose a club space which was in an upmarket side of town, offering a long extravagant drive way and a view of the many sports cars parked cleanly beside a somewhat glistening hanger style construction. With very little time for shame, I plonked my grimy old motor next to a gleaming blue Porsche and hustled my way through the big, glass entrance.
I was immediately greeted by a trendy, minimalist seating space, with free coffee bar for all, and plush high seats propped next to a gleaming white marbled bar space. Around the edges, four fresh courts, walled by gleaming glass panels.
Let me tell you, it took so much of my strength to stay. In fact, the only way to ensure I stayed, was to detach my emotions from the experience and really focus on the immediate minutes approaching.
I saw some people gathered around together and without thinking too much, I marched on over and introduced myself. This is where some incredible masking behaviour took centre stage, because this is something I would never usually do, ever. But, it was a new place, and I didn't know these people, and I no longer cared. I reminded myself that the session was just an hour and soon enough I'd be back in my messy car, retreating from the trauma that I'd opted to expose myself to.
As the trainer explained the session plan, my mind walked around the circle of people with the shame of absolute judgement. I immediately identified who came in the Porsche, and, I immediately tried to seek the face of someone who could offer me a friendly smile!
Now, this was the interesting part. My immediate instinct was to search for someone of similar age, build, predisposition as myself. There was, but they weren't having taking a smile let alone returning one! My instant panic was that I was surrounded by people that I would not be able to make connections with. The underlying purpose for this escapade.
Surprisingly, the person that really stood out and I for whom I am so grateful for, was a retired woman with a crooked smile. She had a friendly, down to earth demeanour which was identifiable in an instant. She chatted through the session and asked to exchange numbers at the end. I felt over the moon.
That day I learned the benefit of stepping outside of my comfort zone. I learned from others, what it looks like to be brave, take the initiative, and the rewards that can have. It opened my mind to the incredible possibilities that you can create for yourself. I am thankful for that first day.
The session itself....it was fun, I enjoyed the learning, I enjoyed simply hitting the ball over the middle netting. I enjoyed the hour of focus, and therefore freedom from the usual anxieties of life that I tend to recycle over and over.
As I drove away, I followed the Porsche. Both having arrived and left at the same point on that day, I felt proud of getting this done. I felt proud of taking a leap into the abyss. I re-attached my emotions to reflect on the detail. I realised that I could do it again and that I might actually like it!
The benefits of padel
The general benefits of padel are most obvious. The day after my first session, I walked like I had been riding a horse. My thighs hurt like crazy, and I felt just like I do the day after I have been to the gym. I ached in a pleasant way. Each ache provided a smile as it reminded me of the goodness the day before.
For me the benefits were the challenges and opportunities that learning to play a new sport might bring. More specifically for me, in my forties, it has given me a space to test new approaches to life with fear, but also desire to try things differently. Maybe this would have been the same if I'd picked up football, or hockey. However, I can't help but think that padel is a better fit, not least because it looked smashing! There was something very vulnerable about being in the spotlight, getting a shot wrong, feeling embarrassed, but also feeling the boost when the learning paid off. I also liked that padel is relatively new in the UK and that, like me, there would be lots of people new to the game. This felt reassuring.
How it has inspired me
From that time, I have tried to create time to play padel. I joined a training group which runs for 4 weeks. I have met three new people who I would not ordinarily cross paths with, but have so far helped me to challenge my critical mind. I am one week away from completion and I intend to reward myself with a little gift when its done.
But what comes after?
I am trying not to think about that all too much. There are lots of emotions that I am trying to control, such as uncertainty about whether I am good enough to play in a friendly game, fear of rejection (after these four weeks, will my fellow learners want to maintain contact), how will I ever integrate into a regular group to play, is the effort worth it? I don't know any of that yet. What I do know is that I want to play another session and that is where I am focussed. After that, if I want to continue, I will have to make it happen somehow and that will be the next test.
What I can be sure of is, I am able to step into some new challenges with fear, anxiety, trepidation and survive the experience. I can be sure that when I am facing difficult situations, I can come up with a way to navigate my way through successfully.
Padel reminded me that it’s never too late to start something new—and that joy, laughter, and a little sweat are the best kind of therapy in your forties.
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