Fitness In Your Forties - Planning The Journey

Fitness In Your Forties

In recent weeks, I have created an image in my mind of how I would like to take care of my body, if only i could!!!

And then I started thinking, well why can't I look how I want to? Well, for me I have been working on identifying the barriers to getting started. I feel that this is important. 

What's standing in my way?

Firstly to be able to label the issues, and accept them feels a great place to work from. Yes, I am lazy, yes, I am not in my forties and my confidence around other woman, can be easily influenced by aesthetics and a little bit of the green eyed monster. There are also other factors such as my work life balance, which I have always struggled with. In my younger years, that wasn't so much of a problem as I still seemed to squeeze so much into my day and not feel the pain. Nowadays, I am all too ready to make a break for that sofa as soon as I walk through the door. 

I am not ashamed to say that I love a bit of sofa and a bit of TV at the end of a hard day of sorting out other peoples problems and dealing with chaos. Most days I crave down time, and I have become used to using TV as the default escape route.

Another barrier for sure, is that I need more specific goals, and a clear plan. Too often, I have short lived routines which involve bouncing to the gym every other day, eating 'clean'. My hope is held by watching endless tik toks, searching for those before and after photos. Usually at 3 weeks I loose interest, either because what I am doing gets derailed by social plans that I do not wish to compromise, or because the goals I have set/expectations are unrealistic. More often once I have failed to attend the gym one day, it derails my entire thought process and then I find excuses to not attend the next time! 

So, to clarify, my barriers are:

• Time - Work life balance - is it realistic to fit gym sessions every other day. When I fail to achieve it, I give up entirely. So what can I fit in realistically?
• Sofa time and TV - Too much, and used to self soothe. I enjoy it though, so lets see if I can still squeeze that into my schedule, but just not as much!
• Goals - What do I want to achieve ? change of physique? healthier weight? overall general health? For me, currently, I think its all of the above. I need to build the foundations with a focus on overall general health. Consequently, I think that will start to naturally develop a healthier physique, weight etc. And then I can work on the specifics. For me, I have long held a desire to be more masculine, muscular. That takes time, and if I want it, I need to be patient. I want to achieve this in my forties, tick it off my wish list....
• Setting a realistic plan - Oh this is the hard bit. I do get bored of the gym, and if I make it more complicated, I put off attending. By that I mean - I have a tendency to try and add other tasks to my gym sessions. Last week I attended the gym, decided I needed to wash the car and do all the household chores before I left so that I could focus my time at the gym and not feel guilty. I did all of those things - and then I was super tired, so my gym session was half hearted. I can find any excuse not to go, and I will easily change my plans to accomodate others - e.g. If my partner suddenly wants a cosy night in with wine and dinner - I'm in - I'm down for that stuff. Sod the gym. I want to be able to keep my boundaries, and focus on my goals, accept that this might come with a bit of compromise, if thats what I want! I do worry that going to the gym eats into my social time, especially if that means that me and my partner become passing ships. I hate that. So, I think realistically for me, a starting point would be establishing regular days (2 days per week?) where I attend. That way I can organise my schedule and my partner can be clear when I am also free. This makes it much easier to maintain and set expectations for myself. 2 days seems reasonable. There is the flexibility to add a third session if I wish. I do enjoy learning new activities, so I also would like to add in space to do that in the week. At the moment I am enjoying learning Padel. My next activity is going to be Tai Chi! 
• Motivation - Now this sort of falls into the above paragraphs also. But, deserves its own merit. I can be super lazy. In fact, I love nothing more than busting out all of my chores of a weekend, super early, so that I can spend the rest of it on the sofa, binge watching TV. I then think of all the other things I could have used the time for!!! I don't have a solution to this yet, but I am researching tips to encourage motivation. I do try my own methods - for example - When I first return to the gym after a few weeks away - I will reward myself at the end of each week with a little purchase - new gym gear usually ticks the boxes. I have a budget gym membership on purpose so that I can afford the little extra's that help me to get my bum to the gym. 

I have spend some time researching other ways to motivate oneself to get moving - here are some of the golden nuggets I found:

• Think of this journey as a lifestyle - Not a chore - prioritise it - Its not just about looking good, its feeling great mentally and emotionally, its feeling confident, its building consistency, it's showing discipline.
• Plan your week - I have started to do this more and it helps - look at the week ahead and put the plans in your diary. A paper diary for me helps better - I don't use my phone diary as there's always a risk it gets lost amongst all the messages, alerts and chaos that being connected to the www brings.
• Mix it up - I enjoy the gym once I'm there - generally. But, I also like to try new things. At the moment I am learning to play Padel. I can feel my interest started to wane, so I am looking for that other thing to add in when Padel is pushed to the curb. I try not to feel guilty about my lack of interest over the long term, being able to stick to a sport and become more experienced. It isn't me. Or, I just haven't found the one for me yet. I try to take the positives - I am getting myself out there and trying something, rather than scrolling and just thinking about doing things. I am acting on my thoughts. 
• Set a date or a challenge - My partner recently completed a 15k race. I loved that, and I enjoyed seeing her cross the finish line. I was super proud and slightly envious. I have super dodge knees and I cannot see myself pounding the track and achieving much benefit aside from more agony on especially cold, damp winter's days! My goal is to search for a challenge which will allow me to work towards something, yet not batter my body. I don't know what that looks like yet. But this is where the Facebook cookies comes into their own, because I am welcoming all the cheeky adverts and suggestions that are coming up on my timeline. I'm trusting the process with this one, and something will come to me.
• Create a space at home - as an alternative to going to the gym, I also enjoy working out at home with a lovely little podcast on in the background. I have this as my Plan B, especially over the winter time, when I might not care much for the cardio, but would like to buzz out on the weights. 
• Do what you love - I don't fully know what that is yet. I do love the gym and the feeling afterwards. It can be addictive and offer instant rewards. Maybe I can learn to use that to my advantage, that could be my fix and motivation. I also love trying new things, so I think this can help me to add something more dynamic to my wellbeing plan. 
• Surround yourself with like minded people - I haven't achieved this yet. There are a number of barriers. I am by nature, quite a bit more happy in my own company. I have a tendency to gravitate towards solo activities. That is the reason I chose Padel - you need a team to play and it has taken me out of my comfort zone. I want to build on that for sure - but I am not sure where to start. I am in a new city and away from my usual supports, so I am starting from scratch and developing a new network. I don't have a network yet, but there are opportunities for me to make better purpose with. So that is going to be my goal. The links I already have, build on them, turn up, be consistent.

As I move forward, I know the journey won’t be perfect—and that’s okay. What matters most is building a routine that feels sustainable, realistic, and true to the life I want to live in my forties. It’s about balance, not punishment; progress, not perfection. Each small step—whether that’s showing up for a workout, trying a new activity, or simply choosing movement over the sofa once in a while—adds up to something bigger. This is not just about fitness, but about creating a lifestyle that supports confidence, energy, and joy. My forties aren’t about chasing who I used to be, but about becoming stronger, healthier, and happier than I’ve ever been.